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Basic Etiquette

What To Expect At A Swingers Party:

The first step is attending the orientation at 7:30pm on the night of the party. We will go through some basic party etiquette and club rules. These parties are BYOB and we have a bartender on duty, as well as basic mixers and sodas. You must be 21+ to attend.

You will be invited to play games such as Cards Against Humanity and naughty Jenga, but are never required to play. There is music for dancing, and plenty of comfy furniture for socializing and getting to know each other. We have semi-private areas for more intimate play and a swing in the middle of the room for those exhibitionist out there. Everything we do is consent based. Participation is always consensual. It is never required, not is it expected. Many folks come out to socialize and watch.

While we are primarily a BDSM club, swingers parties will not include any of that sort of play. They are strictly vanilla, although you will see some of the furniture we use on the dark side ;-)

What To Expect At Your First Dungeon Party:

The first step is attending the orientation at 6:30 on the night of the party. We will go through some basic party etiquette and club rules. No alcohol or drugs are allowed at these parties and you must be 18+.

Expect the unexpected :) You will see people being flogged, spanked, suspended with rope and all those things you've read and fantasized about. You may very well also see someone being cut with a scalpel and small amounts of their blood being used as finger-paint on their body, another couple may be finger-painting on each other with actual paints, you may see someone being kicked, punched and walked on. You will see a host of different types of play from different types of people. This is the fun, unedited, world of kink.

We will have some "tasting booths" at our 1st Saturday party, so you can try a specified type of play, such as fire or electrical play, or a little spanking or flogging. We will also have toy bag tours, so you can see the various toys and implements we use.

Most importantly you will find people, just like you who love this life and what they do. They will be warm and welcoming, prepared to answer your questions (once they are done playing) and make you feel right at home. Everything we do is consent based. Participation is always consensual. It is never required, not is it expected. Many folks come out to socialize and watch.

BDSM Play Partner Checklist and Questionnaire | BDSM Negotiation Checklist (long and short form)

Simple Etiquette

Courtesy Always – you will find people whose kink/fetish doesn't match your own. We have a simple outlook on this, "your kink isn't my kink but your kink is ok" You don't have to like what other people do, you're not expected to like everything. Just keep it your opinions to yourself and be courteous.

Ask about pronoun - In this lifestyle there are gays, lesbians and transgender people who do not use the he/she, her/him that they were born to. You will never offend someone by asking what their pronoun is if you are unsure.

Don't Touch people, toys, etc. - Always ask before hugging someone even if you know them. If you are interested in somebody's toy ask before you pick it up to check it out. There are some old timers who believe if you touch their toy without asking, they get to use it on you :)

Respect – roles, choices, orientation - you don't have to agree with someone who's into the Master/slave lifestyle, you don't have to particularly understand the LGBT community but you are expected to respect everyone and their choices, how they were born, etc.

Respect Privacy – jobs, where people live/work - many people are closeted about their kink for various reasons. Never try to get too personal with someone. If they are willing to offer up information about themselves they will.

Watch from a distance - some people have a wicked backswing, others merely enjoy their space and the energy between them and who they are playing with. Always watch from a distance, never get into someone else's personal space.

Ask Qs later, talk elsewhere - There's not much that is more distracting than having someone come up right in the middle of what you're doing and asking "what is that, how does it work, may I look at it" or having someone talking about little Johnny's soccer game last night. The club has a social area that is where talking is to occur. If you are interested in what someone is doing, watch from a distance and when they are completely done, toys put away and are appearing to be social again then you may ask your questions.

No photos - Nobody wants to wind up on your Facebook page with "hey check out what I saw tonight", photos aren't allowed unless you are expressly asked to take one and you get permission from the dungeon monitor and/or house manager.

Mistake = apologize - if you make a mistake, don't just ignore it and walk away. A simple "I apologize for ____" or "I'm sorry" will go a long way in earning the respect of others around you.

DM = boss - The dungeon monitors are there for the safety of everyone in the dungeon, players and bystanders alike. Follow their requests, they know what's what.

Dungeon rules - Know them, follow them, they are there for everyone's safety in and out of the playspace.

Follow gut instinct - If something or someone doesn't make you feel right walk away, you don't have to play with someone, and you don't have to partake in an activity because someone wants you to. If you feel thoroughly out of sorts by what is propositioned, talk to the DM or the House Manager.

Clean equipment – Envirocide - You surely wouldn't want to play on a piece of equipment that someone else sweated on, bled on, has sex juices on would you?? Of course not, so don't expect someone else to when you are done. Properly clean the equipment when you are done using it for the safety and enjoyment of the next person.

Don’t out people in public w/o permission - We all have friends at the playspace but that is where many of these friendships begin and end. If you see someone at the market the next day don't walk up and say "Hey Bob, wow that scene last night was incredible, she had the prettiest stripes on her back and wow what a screamer". Chances are Bob isn't your friend's real name, there's a good chance the woman with Bob is his wife who thinks he was out with the boys last night watching a game and you may have just inadvertently caused Bob a divorce and the loss of his family and maybe his job. If you see someone you know from the playspace just keep walking. Unless there's an understanding between the two of you that Bob is his real name and that he's out about what he does keep it to yourself and chat at the next play party.

Note: Just watch at first or your first few until you comfy playing – YOU NEVER, EVER HAVE TO PLAY